Peace over what I thought I wanted

For as long as I can remember l I had this idea that I wanted to be married at twenty five and have kids at thirty. I just knew my life would be “together” at twenty five. That mindset ruined my thoughts and pushed me to settle for something that I knew I shouldn’t have had. That “something” for me was marriage, but for you it could be that job, relationship or expensive purchase. Here I am twenty six and my life is “together” just exactly how it’s supposed to be.

When I got married at twenty one I knew that I was making the right decision, and I did make the right decision, at the time. So many of my family and friends questioned whether I was sure or not and I just knew that I was. One thing about me is I’m a “eff around and find out” type of person, meaning no matter what anyone tells me or tries to shelter me from, I just cant help but learn the hard way. I had no business being married BUT the idea of marriage seemed so exciting. Is it the leo in me or is it the I think I know everything.

But with life, growth and lessons learned, twenty six year old me and twenty one year old me are not the same people. If only I knew now what I knew then there would be so much stress and uncomfortableness that could have been avoided. But then not experiencing it would take away my journey. A few years ago I got a tattoo on my shoulder that says “trust your journey” and whew what a journey it has been.

Here we are single, divorced, open to new experiences, choosing peace, embracing love, growing, healing and flourishing, dealing with the things that hurt me all while trusting the journey.

peace over pain.

peace over anything that doesn’t serve me.

peace over anything that drains me.

peace over uncertainty.

peace over everything.