Let’s chat. The word of the day is closure.
Do you believe in closure or do you believe situations should stay as is? This can be with a friend, a significant other or a family member.
Today is July 15th and I sent my first closure message. Today like just now. Like right before I started typing this. It is currently 10:15pm. I feel like such an adult lol
I never used to believe in closure because I knew that my intentions were not good. Not good meaning I was most likely doing it to be petty.
BUT today, today was different. I had been thinking about sending this closure text for a few days now but was on the fence about it. All day at work I was thinking about what I wanted to say and wanted to make sure it didn't come off too aggressive but also it needed to be straight to the point.
Lately have been doing this thing where I tell people how they made me feel. Reason one being my feelings are valid. Reason two being because I know that my feelings are important and that they should be told and reason three being people should know how they made you feel.
Normally I just get irritated and stop talking but that doesn't exactly solve the problem. I just brush it off and think “well that sucks.”
I will then either not talk to them for a while or i will brush it under the rug. But by doing this the original issue doesn't get addressed, then all the issues add up and then I'm like a bomb waiting to go off.
All of my friends and close family know that i am the furthest thing from emotional there is. I don't know how or when I became that way. It takes a lotttt for me to cry
In the last almost two years I can count on one hand how many times I cried. Two.
The first was when my grandmother died in Dec 2018. The most recent time was about a month ago. But this cry was different. I wasn't sad or stressed, I was mad. mad as hell.
I remember the incident that made me mad will not go into detail right now. I do know that i was driving home trying to keep myself together. When I couldn't do that I had to pull over. By the time I was done crying I had the worst headache, my nose was snotty and I was exhausted!
Yes I have smart mouth and can be sarcastic at times but what 20 something year old doesn't. But more times than none I am the friendliest and sweetest person. I always think about that whole treat others the way you want to be treated saying so I really try to live by that.
I used to believe that you shouldn't give people the power to alter your feelings because then they sort of control you. But thats silly. We have feelings for a reason and we have the right to express how we feel.
From now on we are telling people when we are angry, sad, irritated, afraid, disappointed or whatever else especially if they are the reason behind it all.
As always,
love you guys!
